First day of the journey (well after the interview process and being excited for about 2 weeks for being accepting into this project)…..I meet with my new trainer and owner of Zen Fitness, Carly Asse, at the cardiologist’s office for an initial consultation. I arrive early to the meeting, as I normally am, and Carly drives past me in the parking lot and asks me to get into her car for my very first time on camera. I had to briskly walk across the parking lot, which made me pant and then I was also nervous. Then I realized how small his car was and that I was being filmed in it. It was not the most comfortable moment. None the less, he asked me a few questions about my thoughts and feelings at this moment and then we went into the doctor’s office. At this meeting, awkward as it was, I sat in a small room (with typically small waiting room chairs that barely fit my hips into them) with someone I had just met while he asked me personal questions about my weight and background (filming me all along). I was willing to talk about anything (Flashback vs. reality moment: I was willing to talk about anything, but I had not realized at this time that I was living in a warped sense of reality that made me think it was completely fine to be 345 at age 29. This will be explained more later). Deep down, I know that even though I’m obese, I have been extremely lucky to not have any major medical problems due to my weight. After having blood work drawn and a stress test (barefoot on a treadmill!), my levels all came back acceptable for participation in the film and I’m excited! (Reality moment: I remember thinking that the nurses, the amazingly nice cardiologist and my trainer were all sugar-coating the reality at that moment when I couldn’t last for longer than 6 minutes on a treadmill….I was fat, extremely out of shape, and was on a bad health track…errr no health track at all. I knew it, they knew, and everyone else knew it. But just like society can overlook ugly black spots on society, I overlooked my weight problem and covered up my feelings with other things. They expected me to be sensitive about my weight, so they were covering up their true opinions as well. We were all still thinking that same thing though). I left that office excited and couldn’t wait to begin the program and I have no idea what I should expect.